Not Today

Sorry for the long long break in posting. There’s been a lot going on in my life recently. But meanwhile, I found this post I started writing a few months ago. It’s not great, but it’s something interesting to think about.


If you’re anything like me, you’ll be familiar with the horrible habit of procrastinating.

(Also, if you’re like me, you’ll have read the title and thought that we were talking about Twenty One Pilots. Sorry. Not today. (lol))

Recently, I’ve found myself in a terrible slump. I don’t want to read, I don’t want to write, and I constantly feel like it’s not the right time to do something. I’ve discovered this new form of procrastination which I think is a derivative of me thinking that great things can only happen on special days.

This doesn’t meant that I’m going to do something great, instead this is me even procrastinating ouver the little things. I think, “I want to buy this laptop, but today is just not right. it’s a Tuesday, and the weather is foggy, and even though I know I have the money, I don’t want to make such an important decision after only about ten hours of research and two hours of comparing models and prices.”

In the course I’m currently taking on student success, it talks about figuring out how to overcome procrastination, starting by identifying why you procrastinate. I looked at the list and related to some of them, but this was the one kind that wasn’t included on there. It’s the kind where you’re afraid to start because great things don’t happen in this day and century.

I keep telling myself “Not Today” because today is not yesterday, and yesterday was the day when great things happened. It was the day when revolutions were started, the day peace was won, the day when heroes saved the world. Me, wanting to buy a laptop, or publishing a book, cannot compare with these great moments of history, because today is nothing like then.

but then I realise that once upon a time, yesterday was a today. Did Thomas Jefferson say “I’m not going to write the declaration of independence today because yesterday was when the Magna Carta was signed, when Magellan circumnavigated the globe”?

I want to do something great, I want to make a difference, but if I can’t even go on doing something simple with this in my mind, there’s no way I’ll be able to one day publish a book or complete my college education.

So I’m gonna need to remind myself that today can be a day when history is made. Sure, no one is going to remember the tiny decisions that I made, decisions that won’t really impact anyone around me, but it’s going to be practice for the day when I really do something great.

 

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Growing Up–A Playlist

Adulthood–the most recent change in my life.

At first I thought it was scary. I suddenly had all these responsibilities and all these privileges, I hardly knew what to do. But it’s also really exciting. Childhood is over and, while I still have many mistakes left to make, my life is really just starting.

And since music really speaks to me, I decided to share this playlist I made a while back with a few songs that describe the mixed feelings about adulthood that I’ve had this past year.

Here’s the playlist, and if you scroll down, I wrote down the reasons that I put each song on the playlist.

College Kids by Relient K–I added this song to the playlist when I was feeling a lot of pressure from my family (and myself) to start my college education even though I wasn’t 100% certain of what I wanted to do.

Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots--of course there’s a tøp song I really identified with this song a couple months back when adulthood was looming but not quite here yet. I just wanted to be a kid again.

Hall of Fame by The Script–“you can be the greatest, you can be the best…” I like the theme of this song, telling you that you can be anything.

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World–This has always been one of my favorites, but the line “just be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else” describes the lesson I’ve learned that I have to be my own person and not live up to other’s expectations. .

Back Home by Owl City–I may be taking a new path, but I do have a home, whether it be a physical building, the people who are close to me, or the memories that will always stay with me.

House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots–this song just makes me feel happy, though it’s a little sad if you pay attention to the lyrics.

It’s Not Right for You by The Script–“you’ve got one life to love what you do” This inspired me when I decided what I wanted to study for college.

On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons–this past year has been a high point and this song makes me feel like it’s never going to end.

Best Day of My Life by American Authors–this song is my happy song. I️ hear it once and the rest of my day cannot be ruined.

Luck by American Authors–this song also makes me happy, and reminds me that I don’t have to do what everyone wants me to do.

Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan–once again, a happy sounding song that’s kinda depressing. I’m not 100% certain why I added this song.

The Nights by Avicii–This song encourages me to live while I’m young, cause I don’t want to have regrets when I’m older.


I will continue to add to this playlist and listen to it when I’m feeling down or stressed out. Ha. twenty one pilots reference. And I hope it can provide some encouragement to the rest of you out there.

until next time,

Cath

Blogiversary

Happy Blogiversary to me! Apparently, today, 365 days ago, I started my blog.

*throws confetti**slices cake*

Yay! It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long. Though it does simultaneously feel like it’s been longer than that.

(I’m still freaking out that 2017 is almost halfway over. Based on my productivity, it should be July at least)

It’s hard to believe that a year ago I was considering being published by the end of ’17, had no idea I wanted to do with my life (considering a gap year), and hadn’t even considered reading 100 books in a year.

However, I have come very far since then, now that I’m thinking about it. I got my driver’s license, took a college class and loved it, got a job, decided what I want to do with my life, and am currently taking college classes.

So, as for blogging, I haven’t been as consistent as I would like to be, school and my job taking up a lot of my time. But, I’ve published 46 posts, have 37 followers, and consistent views. It makes me so happy to know people like my stuff.

I’m not really doing anything to celebrate this blogiversary besides writing this post. I’m not a big party person.

But, today I’m going to celebrate all you wonderful people who follow me and bother reading my writing and rambling, whether you’re my friend in real life, friend over the internet (which I guess is still real life…), or someone I’ve never met before. I love you guys and wish you the best in your own lives and hope you reach your own goals successfully ❤

Be awesome 🙂

Here’s to another fun year of blogging!

Catherine

Farewell to School

Picture

Farewell school.

You have been a burden pleasure.

With you I have finished my childhood, and now I must move on in life. I will look back on you in fondness as the days when I could just sit back and imagine what it was like to grow up, when I would complain about having to do schoolwork and wonder why anyone would even want to go to college, but this is the end. I’m not coming back. I’m saying goodbye.

Farewell school.

I won’t miss all the hours spent crying over algebra or the forced literature guides or the callus on my ring finger from having handwritten so many three-point paragraphs. I won’t miss required reading for history which gave me an intense dislike for reading for a very long time.

Farewell school.

I will miss the times exploring my interests, when I would draw people or dragons and turn them in as schoolwork, when I would write novels for NaNoWriMo and count that as english even though the finished products were absolute traitors to grammar. I will miss the freedom of homeschooling.

Farewell school.

I feel like my love of learning came too late, and sometimes I wish I could do it all again just so I could actually appreciate everything my mother tried to teach me as an obstinate fifth grader. I would appreciate the literature guides, the essays, and the history lessons. Gosh, I’d probably even enjoy math (though there is no assurance that I wouldn’t cry again).

Farewell school.

Despite these sentiments, I am glad to say I am finished. Hindsight is twenty/twenty, but the road of life only goes straight forward. Here is where we go separate ways, you to some other child who will probably hate you until it is time for you to go, and me to my future; wherever that leads.

But know this:

If it wasn’t for you, I never would have made it this far.

So, thank you.

and farewell.