Not too long ago (ok. It was a while ago) I wrote a post about my guy friends. Entitled “boy friend“, I asked why can’t it be the social norm for guys and girls to just be friends.
It was inspired by my growing friendship with my one coworker–a really cool guy who I would stay up late snapchatting because we had a lot in common and therefore a lot to talk about. I had been starting to develop a crush on him, but I wasn’t certain if it was romantic or platonic. But one thing was for sure, I loved him as a friend, and even though we had only been talking for a week, I was willing to call him my best friend.
When writing my post, I remembered every time someone has insisted me and a guy friend should be together, which fueled my rant.
But not too long after writing that post, everything changed. I was convinced I no longer had any feelings for my friend besides the ones of friendship, but when he told me he liked me as more than a friend, I realised I had been lying to myself.
Now, after over three months of dating my best friend, I’ve looked back to see if I would change anything that I said in that post. To tell you the truth, I won’t change it. I meant everything I said. Nothing should be inherently romantic about guys and girls being friends, just like there isn’t anything inherently romantic about girls and girls or guys and guys being friends.
However, there’s one thing I must add. There’s nothing wrong if that ever changes and romance replaces the platonic.
After all, I wouldn’t have a boyfriend if I didn’t at first have a boy friend.
My mother always told me it was a good thing to have friends that were guys, but up until a few years ago, I never had one.
Long story short, I made a guy friend and immediately people assumed we had feelings for each other. Girl friends would say we were perfect for each other, and relatives would offer not-so-subtle comments that they wouldn’t mind this friend as a son/grandson-in-law.
And that’s not the only time it’s happened. I mention a guy friend and the first thing people ask is “do you like him?” I talk to a guy and a friend says we’d be “cute”. I mention having a platonic crush and a “friend” starts making jokes about having babies with him.
What is it about this world that makes romance the default for male/female interaction?
What makes a platonic guy/girl relationship so foreign to friends and relatives? The world in general?
No one thinks it’s weird when I say I love my girl friends. No one says I’m obsessed when I’m up until 3 am texting a female. No one has suspicions when I go somewhere with a girl.
I️ understand propriety comes into the equation and requires there to be a few limitations, but if that was the only problem, I wouldn’t be writing this post.
I want to tell my best friend I love him. I want to stay up late talking about deep, important things. I want people to assume when I go somewhere with him that we’re friends and not a couple.
I don’t want to date my guy friends. Often it doesn’t even cross my mind until a romantically inclined friend mentions it and throws me for a loophole. I start to wonder if since that’s what everyone is thinking that it should be what I think.
When can platonic be the default?
When will the world realize friendship is the best relationship out there?
Is it too much to ask for a boy friend instead of a boyfriend?
Forgive me for being gone for so long, but I come back with a newly discovered hobby/talent.
I discovered that I like photography. I’m not very good at it (yet), but I’m sure with practice I might become okay.
Twenty four days ago, I got a phone. His name is Sam, and he’s an iPhone SE, therefore he has a better camera than my iPod 4, James, or my sister’s iPhone 4. So, the natural thing to do with a better camera is to go out and take pictures.
On Monday, my sister and I took two friends to Lititz Springs Park and, while the sun was setting, we took pictures and had a good time.
Some pictures turned out very well (at least, in my opinion). The sun was setting which was a good opportunity for me to play around with lighting, something I’ve never really bothered with before.
Thank goodness my sister is a willing model. I never look this good in pictures. We didn’t get a lot of pictures–we only had so much time that we could spend in the park–but I am extremely glad that we went.
Now, before I claim to be the only one with an interest in photography within my immediate friend group, it needs to be mentioned that my sister has been interested for a lot longer than I have been and she loves taking nature photos and playing around with poses and setting. Neither of us claim the title of photographer. Though I say she’s better.
And yeah. I’m just writing all these words because I need filler in order to avoid a big photo dump. Though if all you’re here for is the pictures, than by all means, skip the text.
<– Vic is a Ravenclaw, so is Olivia, and Elizabeth is a Hufflepuff. So, as the only Gryffindor in the group, I had to pose with the lion. –>Top: Elizabeth. Left: Vic. Right: Olivia. Bottom: Me.
And now it’s time for the part of the show where we show bloopers:
Left: We found a dead body. JK. Center: Olivia and Victoria take a ride on the Chummy Express. Right: Elizabeth gives Victoria a beard.
Another thing I’ve recently begun to enjoy is photo editing. I’ve been using Pixlr to edit photos for months now and, lo and behold, they have an app so I’m able to edit my photos on my phone. It has tons of filters, overlays, borders, stickers, and fonts. It’s so much fun playing around with pictures and trying out all the different effects.
Left: I upped the saturation and contrast (this is Vic’s favorite) Center: the original. Right: I used the “Splash” tool. (this is my favorite)
Now, for this picture, I had an idea in my head. I wanted a picture of me holding my hand out, basically saying “Nope” “Go away” “Talk to the Hand” “Stop”. A wee bit emo, I admit, but I’m proud of how it turned out after I edited it.
The center is the original. I didn’t like how dark the background was and how the light wasn’t as bright as I was hoping it would be. So, I edited it. The one on the left I did first. I like the colors, though i think I overdid the blur. The one on the right is my attempt to make it brighter and more how I was imagining it in my head. I can’t decide which edit is my favorite.
Anyway, thanks for reading and looking at my pictures!
If you’re human, you’ve probably doubted yourself before. You’ve stood in front of the mirror, calling yourself ugly, wondering how anyone could possibly love you. You’ve hid from your friends, doubting if they really care about you like how you care about them. Repetitive thoughts assail you, reminding you that you think you’re worthless, ugly, or unloved.
I can’t remember the statistics, but the amount of people suffering from depression is crazy, and depression is only one of the few mental afflictions out there.
In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I have compiled a list of a few things that I have found helpful in keeping myself mentally healthy (with a little bit of physical health thrown in, even as much as I’d like to deny it).
Disclaimer: I am no expert. There. That’s all you need to know.
So, here is the list:
Sleep. Yes, this is the best thing for you. If you are stressing about something, I recommend going to bed early and don’t worry about it until the morning.
Trust your friends. Doubting what they tell you, especially their compliments, really hurts you by causing you to learn to doubt yourself and everyone around you in the process.
Eat breakfast. it’s good for you. I don’t care what that random relative/health fanatic told you. They lied.
If you’re going out someplace and are socially anxious like me, wear something you feel completely comfortable in. Sure that one outfit might look super cute, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s best to stick with t-shirt and jeans (or whatever else you always wear).
Don’t diet or starve yourself. First off, it makes you gain weight because when you eat again your body stores it away as fat in case of another period of not eating, and second off ‘die’ is in the word ‘diet’. If you really want to lose weight, exercise is the best route.
Smile. It has been scientifically proven that smiling makes you feel happier, and it also makes everyone else who sees you feel a little more happy.
Sarcasm. This is a personal revelation so I don’t know if others can relate, but I think sarcasm is the sixth love language. I only use it when I feel comfortable with the person I’m talking to, so when someone uses sarcasm on me, I feel some sort of platonic connection.
Don’t procrastinate (preaching to the choir, I know. I know). Instead, do whatever you’re supposed to do and give yourself little breaks to do your procrastinating activities, whether it be pinterest or cookies. Or both 🙂
Whenever you see your reflection in the mirror, make sure to tell yourself how pretty you are. Sure, a lot of us would like to have brains over beauty, but it doesn’t hurt to have both and it starts with you feeling comfortable in your own skin.
Extrovert. Go out with your friends. Talk to that one person at work or church you really want to get to know better. (this is me steeling my nerves. I’ve been wanting to talk to this person for at least two years now…)
Keep a diary. When you get angry or frustrated with other people it helps you if you write about it, therefore basically having the opportunity to vent but not doing it to that person’s face or involving a friend in your discord.
Don’t get worked up over your crush. There are better things to devote your time and mental energy to. Fries before guys. Cake before potential dance partners (yes. I danced with a cake at prom)
Don’t be ashamed about how many donuts you can eat or how many slices of pizza you can devour in one sitting. Food is great and people who don’t eat it are on a one way track to starvation and depression.
Read instead of spending time on social media.
Stay hydrated. yes. this is one of those physical health tips, but seeing as how your mind and body are connected, it helps, especially if you’re often exhausted and don’t feel like doing anything.
Last but not least, get closer to God. Even if you only have time to pray before you go to bed, do it. You may have a lot of friends, but God is the best friend you can possibly have, and he’s always there for you, no matter how long you ignore him and no matter how many other people he has to talk to as well.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I hope there was something in there that can help you 🙂
Also, as an important side note, you should probably seek out a professional if you are struggling with mental health.
Feel free to share some mental health tips of your own in the comments! I would love to see them 🙂